Then There Was Us!
by venthuray
Summary: Draco-Ginny fluff. Just spoofing around on how the two of them met. PWP, but will soon develop a plot.
1. Chapter 1

So. Where did it even begin? I could sit here racking my brain forever and not come up with the answer. But for the sake of this story, I will at least try to remember the more important bits of my teenage years. Because that's where he came in.

I first saw him that day in Flourish and Blotts. At that time I was still too infatuated with Harry to even think of Draco as anything other than a filthy Malfoy.

Oh, another reason for me to shove Potter's sodding Firebolt up his arse.

Draco.

What?

You're supposed to be nice.

I am not nice. Malfoys are never nice. They are condescending, filthy rich, cold-hearted, evil, arrogant, patronizing, brilliant, superior, intelligent, dashing, and resourceful…but never nice.

Shut up Draco! This is my part of the story, and I'm telling it my way. Sit down and listen like a good boy.

Never.

Fine. Then you can just change dirty diapers for the next three weeks

You evil, evil woman.

Muahaha. 

At least skip the Flourish and Blotts part. That contains too much of Potter for my liking.

Oh, and here I was, thinking that you fancied Harry and all.

Shut up.

Oh, but I was just enjoying myself! I mean, don't you look at Harry and think: Ooh, what a handsome young man! So strong, so muscular, so cute – 

OK OK, that. Is. Enough.

Let me tell my bit of the story my way then.

But – 

Dirtyyyy diapersss!

Ever heard of the word EVIL, Red? 'Cause that describes you perfectly. And oh, did I mention, you're EVIL?

Yep. I think so. But doesn't that evil factor just turn you on?

... OK, OK. I surrender! Is that enough? Tell it however you want.

Thank you, Draco.

(Evil.)

Yes I know. So anyway, to continue, I remember standing in front of Draco and yelling at him to leave Harry alone. Hm, come to think of it, Draco, you did look rather hot that day… mm…

Hah. Knew it. Even thoughts about Potter couldn't stop you staring at me, hm? Yeah, I know, I'm handsome and dashing, not to mention witty, smart, and –

Yes, yes, Draco, that's enough of boasting. I'm in the middle of saying my bit, remember?

Boasting? What boasting?! I was merely stating facts! I am handsome and dashing and witty and – 

Okay, I'm sure we've all heard enough. We will talk about your wonderful qualities some other time, okay, Draco? Because it's MY TURN TO TELL THE STORY.

Merlin, woman, d'ya know when you get all fierce and flustered like that, you look positively beautiful? I could just kiss those cute lips of yours right now.

I – why – OK, that's it, Draco. We both need a break. Right now.


	2. Chapter 2

OK, so _as_ I was saying in the previous chapter, before I was _interrupted_…actually, what was I saying? I'm trying to remember…shut up Draco! I said shut up! Stop hiccupping!

It's your fault you gave me that humongous flask of Butterbeer! You know I love Butterbeer!

Yes, it was just to make you shut up. Anyway. As I was saying. I don't think I should relate the Flourish and Blotts incident, because Draco will keep making rude comments the whole time I do that, and it _is_ terribly distracting. He _will_ keep muttering, "Stupid prat" and "Speccy git" under his breath, and while it is actually quite amusing to see his face turn red when I uh, _compliment_ Harry, I do live in fear that one day he will spontaneously combust. 

So instead I will tell about an incident that is, to this very day, still so dear in my heart. I remember it like it was yesterday, the absolute wonder of it, I treat it like it is my own child…

It was the day I hit Draco with the Bat-Bogey Hex.

WHAT?! Oh nonono, you are NOT telling people that! That – That's unfair!

Oh but Draco, dear, don't you think it was so amusing? I still remember the wings and the way you scr-

That's enough! No, you're NOT SAYING ANYTHING FURTHER. NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH.

But Draco, it's one of my fondest memories of you –

EXCUSE ME?!?!

- and I think the people have the right to hear about it. I am sure they will enjoy hearing about it very much. Very much.

Woman, you are downright evil! You are WORSE than evil! You are – are – the bane of existence!

Draco, you're sexy when you get mad.

NO YOU WO – I – what? Sexy? Did you say sexy?

Mm, yes, you look reallyyy sexy when you're angry. Probably one of the reasons I fell in love with you in the first place. 'Cause every time you yelled at me I could admire how sexy you looked.

Of course. I am ALWAYS sexy. Say some more. It is always nice to hear people talk about one's wonderful qualities…

Nah, I think your ego's big enough already.

Hey! I do not have an ego! And if you mean my ass, it is NOT big. I have a great ass, thank you very much.

No you don't. Your ass is too fat.

It is not! Don't be stupid. I have a great ass. End of story.

Fat.

Great.

Fat.

Great.

Fat –

OK, you wanna see it? Here.

…

OK, it _is_ a great ass. I admit it.

Told you so. It is wonderful, isn't it?

Agh, I'm being suffocated by something! It's pressing in on me! It's crushing me, pushing me against the walls, forcing the breath out of me…IT'S DRACO'S EGO!!

Yes, ego, kill Ginny. Kill her now. Squash her like a cockroach.

You weren't meant to take it like that. Hmph. Anyway, you distracted me. Shut up and let me tell my story, otherwise I shall, _ah_, attempt to _relive_ the past.

You…you…

See, he's speechless. I have stunned him with my wonderful cutting wit, icy sarcasm and biting intelligence. He cowers beneath my feet! He grovels! He kowtows! Bow to the king!…um yes. Anyway. As I was saying.

Draco was a humongous prat in my fourth year whose head was either stuck up his arse or something entirely worse. He was part of the stupid Umbridge-sicced Inquisitorial Squad. Oh, by the way, the DA can beat up the Inquisitorial Squad.

It can not! How could it, with that bumbling fool Potter leading it?! The DA is nothing but a monkey-arsed, tomato juice-filled, squishy, lumpy, hare-brained…STOP POINTING YOUR WAND AT ME, VIRGINIA IRIS MALFOY!! NO! DON'T SAY WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY! NOO!! DO NOT USE THAT HEX ON ME EVER AGAIN, NEVER EVER EVER…FINE!! I APOLOGIZE!!

Good. Now keep quiet.

Anyway, we were all in Umbridge's office (I'm sure you know why). Umbridge, Harry, and Hermione had already left. Draco, that stupid oblivious egotistical man over there (Stop pointing your finger like that at me, Ginny), though still crushed that Umbridge did not deem him important enough to view the 'weapon', was _still_ smirking his goddamned smirk at all of us.

Hey! I like my smirk. Girls are attracted to it.

Yeah, right. Whatever.

Yes, that _is_ right. And - WAIT A SECOND. DID YOU CALL ME STUPID AND OBLIVIOUS AND EGOTISTICAL?!?!?!

Uh. I think it's time for a break right now. I'll prepare some cocoa for you, Draco. Just - just, uh calm down. Don't - don't breathe so heavily! And - don't look so angry, will you? Calm down dear, calm down… AHHHH DRACO! I'M SORRY OKAY! I WON'T CALL YOU THAT AGAIN!

GAGHGHGASHG!!


End file.
